10 mins old and oh so pink.
What's Motherhood without a few gruesome birth stories.
Just Kidding. (if it scares you look away now)
There is a fine line walked to bring a child into the world.
I certainly felt the scripture "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" (okay so it seems dramatic now - but at the time...)
I seem to get weak, cold and shakey, blurry vision and feel like I have no control over my body whilst in labour. I also make very little noise (I apparently made no noise during the entire 10 hours of Miss G's birth - I don't know though, as I was screaming in my head) so I felt very alone as sometimes the more noise you make the more attention you get.
Childbirth seemed a blur at the time. Like I was stuck somewhere and couldn't find my way out. Or I was trapped in my head in endless moans. It was the best relief when it was over. Giving Birth is like that other scripture - To know joy you must know pain. It is one of those rare times when you swing from "I'm in so much pain I think I'm gonna die, to a short time later being pain free, reveling in the hormonal high, drinking in the sweet elixer of creating life.
Now I can look back and see what sacred experiences I have had.
Especially with the last one. When your body knows what to do and can do it quickly, without drugs or interventions (thank you Csection with Miss K!!) it is the best feeling. The hospital staff were busy, so we were alone to labour, delivered (met the nurses for all of 20 mins) and were left alone again for hours till they came back. It gave us time to dwell in our bliss of bringing a child into the world. A CHILD!
Even though Childbirth is experience shared with your husband (I don't know though, he missed 2 of ours ;) at the same time it really is something I had to go through alone and scared. My four labours were the most pain I have endured in my life. I have never felt so helpless and like there was no way out, but to endure.
And so this sets one up for motherhood.
There is no way out. They can't be taken back to the hospital for a refund.
There is only endurance.
And that is how I birthed myself into the role of Motherhood.
If only all the other typical 'kid' problems could be fixed through 10 hours of endurance :)
Now me is thinking the birth part was the EASY part :)
This week in tribute to Mothers Day I will be writing posts on Motherhood (hmm is that any different to usual?)