Thursday, October 14, 2010
Mothering is a career.
We finally got to ride to school today. The rain gave us a reprieve.
I was biking along with my little girlies alone. This equals Thinking time. Don't have to watch for the older ones.
I was happy. So happy.
Sometimes I think it won't be like this forever. So enjoy it.
But then I often question if I am wasting my time here.
Should I get a job, do another degree, what career shall I choose, I mean I love my kids, but I don't always LIKE them.. it would be wonderful to get away from them occassionally, a job would be good for that, would G learn more in someone elses care now she is 4, save up for a overseas holiday, expand my mind, would it be ok to put the kids in afterschool care, how would I EVEN balance a job with looking after this lot and still continue to cook nutritious delicious meals and clean and do fun things with the girls.. Is it ok to want to be forever settled in HOME DUTIES and NOT in paid work? Is that what I even want? (I think it is, but that would make me sound lazy??) Surely I will want to break out of the house eventually, best to have a plan, shall I find somewhere to volunteer? Where, who etc?.....this list goes on and on.
Not to mention getting a job for the money factor. Buying a house would be a *good* thing.
All this was scrolling through my mind and when we arrived my shoeless cherubs one with a dirty tutu on with a equally dirty face I thought :
I don't need the money. But I do need them.
I've been fairly kind to myself the last year. I've basically taken a year off. I don't go as many places, I don't do as much. I said "I'm having a year off to focus on this baby, and basically sit around and do nothing if I wish."
And its been a great year.
I do believe I have accomplished this goal. What a great goal to set for the year! I've succeeded in something!
Next year I'll have to climb back on the horse. (and get off the internet)
The year after that I'll think career. suggestions?
Mothering is a career. One that never ends.