Dear Mother, (most lovely grandmother whom the children love)
Thank you very much for your wonderful christmas present that contained sand.
When the neighbour saw the mess that is my front deck and front door she said
"I think your mother had some malicious intent behind this gift."
MALICIOUS INTENT! (of course not, surely?)
I have sand in my couch, sand in my bed, sand crunching under my feet as I walk the entire length of the house. Sand in the bath tub, sand in the yard, sand spilling out of clothes.
How can one little bag of sand spread so far?
Each day as I partake in my new nightly ritual of flicking all sand grains out of my bed... (which by the way I have NO IDEA how they get there - yes the kids to go on my bed, and yes I change Miss N's clothes there but no one hops in the sheets... how how does it burrow under 3 layers? I shudder to think of their beds *shakes*) ... I think of payback
For my memory is long.
I will remember Miss N the exact age you learnt how to throw sand. A recently learned talent that she is eager to share and thinks is HILARIOUS.
You won't be laughing when I gift your children sand related parphernalia.
The children who decide that every craft must be sprinkled with glue and sand then show off their masterpeices excitedly flinging sand in every direction.
No I won't forget.
The children who bury themselves and play and who sit on my furniture with pockets full of sand.
I won't forget.
And then when your time for payback has come (I'm willing to wait it out)
You'll be saying 'I think my mum had malicious intent behind these gifts.'
For it will be true.
The tiny small irritating things..... the sand that is. The children will be adorable as always.
Which is why Grandma buys you things she thinks you'll love.
Your joyously happy daughter
who constantly has a broom in her hand.
*To be fair to lovely grandma. The two gifts she gave are the most played with in the house. The 'had to have it or I'll die' gifts have barely been touched.