The view

I've seen alot of this view lately.

I did have one new years resolution this year (see I lied!)

Not to nurse Miss N in the middle of the night anymore.

Daytime feeds finished a couple months ago. This was our one last wall of defiance.

The rocking chair was moved in her room to make way for the christmas tree in the lounge.

= Perfect timing.

I have never sat in it so much as I have these last 10 days. It's racking up the rocking mileage.

Once upon a time I had a baby that slept through the night from 3 - 7 months old.

Then she got teeth.

And sick.

And like a revolving door round and round I went.

I trialled contolled crying a few times only to have her fall out of routine once again.

I would just give up and give in

=  never getting a full nights sleep since. Waking up to 1-3 times a night was normal round here.

I decided New Year was a perfect time as any to start once again. This time I would offer her a waterbottle (which the first few nights made her as mad as anything) then I would sit with her in my lap in the rocking chair. 

Well things have improved alot but we haven't reached the 100% sleeping through the night. I have heard her wake and put herself back to sleep so that is good. The downside was for several days she thought 4am ish was a perfect time to wake up (she could not be put back) and she was HUNGRY. So while she's eating breakfast I'm watching tv.

You wanna know whats on at 4:30 am.  Baywatch! that's what. Old original episodes.

That and I have been catching up with all my american morning news shows. The early show and Today.


At first I was so proud of my efforts regarding this and thought Yay! my body is mine again!

Take that body stealing babies. 6 years + of my life devoted to feeding babies.

Then it hit me like a tonne of bricks I may never nurse another child again.

and then I cried.




Even though I would chastise myself for being such a pushover I've thought: she gave up her dummy at one (well because I was her dummy, she didnt need it) she's never had a bottle and most probably never will. So even though these last 6 months were a challenge in weening - I think I've done it the best way. Only one and a half and she has no other 'dependents'