So I facebook whined about how sometimes Sundays can be difficult for me.
I felt bad that people might infer that these desperations are linked to my husband or my religion.
(we don't miss him that much ;) and it's important to me that he fulfills his responsibilities. Because it isnt about those two at all...
It's purely about me. (when isnt it?)
I also felt badly about complaining about one of my favourite commandments.
Keeping the sabbath day holy.
Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:
But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:
It is an important commandment and one that is fairly enjoyable with lots of rewards so why should I have a problem? In actuality I LOVE keeping the sabbath day holy. Oh the blessed relief when you know you cannot school study (when I was a student), shop, sports or do frivolous things on a sunday. It truly is a day of rest for ones mind, body and bank account :) Several scriptures mention the blessings of the earth being yours, peace, rain in due season, fruit of the earth, to dwell in safety, become unspotted from the world, to rid of selfishness - There is alot riding on having respect for the sabbath for not only as an individual but as a community too.
It can be hard to reconcile ones beliefs on what it is to keep the sabbath day holy, with reality.
While my husband is out serving everyone else I feel the pull too.
I want to visit the sick, I want to bake food to take to others, I want to visit our great grandma's, I want to sit and debate a gospel doctrinal principle, I WANT to take a nap!, I want to mentally prepare for the coming week, I want to write in journals, I want to take a sunday afternoon drive and show my children the beauty of the country we live in, I want to pay my respects to Lord for all he has given us, I want to do my calling more effectively and visit with each young woman, I want to do my visiting teaching....
I want I want I want... you get the idea
We have never shopped on the sabbath, we don't watch tv, we try not to do too much housework (near impossible to not do ANY) we don't attend sporting events or play sport, we don't attend parties, we don't frequent any business or store BUT
..sometimes it can feel very far from the Sabbath when one is home with little children. It can lose it's meaning and become a day, well... a day like any other....
I felt so frustrated and and don't get me frustrated, that just leads to embarrassing facebook rants.. and when a friend left a comment about how she deals with sunday afternoons it really helped.
I realised that right at this moment I cannot do the above things I want, but I can allow my husband to do them. My service is to let him go without complaining (to my defense I feel I don't complain that much and generally am happy to let my husband go - he's been gone several times a week for 10 years now, so you think we'd be cool by now :)
I cannot sit and have quiet to think and do family history, write in journals, or spend hours studying gospel doctrine. My calling is to serve my children.
I can serve my children and find appropriate activities to do with them.
How many seasons in life do we really have an excuse to stay still, stay home, and just be with our little ones? This time, while it may feel a drudgery to bear is actually a gift.
I HAVE the opportunity placed in front of me to use Sunday afternoons at my leisure. To play, cuddle, read to, and look for some simple service opportunities with my children. No one is expecting me to do ANYTHING ELSE. This time will be over soon and MUCH more will be expected of me. I won't have the demands of four small children to hide behind. I will have no more excuses.
So why is it not enjoyable?
I obviously really need to learn to slow down, sit still and meditate. I really need to teach my children this. We do not need to play with the neighbours. We do not need the computer to entertain us. We do not need activity 24/7.
I must learn I do not need interaction with others to be OK (I am terribly lonely on Sundays and ring my mum and bother her because I have no one to talk to and no friends). I can be me. I can forget housework, I can forget the wants and pull of the world. This will fit in so well with my Simplicity goal for the year. Can a sunday get much more simple?
my new mantra. I must enjoy our little bubble.