I'M NOT !!
Now 2 years ago when I had 3 kids under 5 all at home with me and one of them being a newborn.. I don't think I would have been able to manage this blog at all... ahhh ... but the light at the end of the tunnel.. I now only have one at home, my husband is at home more, I am in such a great mental and physical place I am just SO HAPPY!! and want to share it via this blog... so ladies... there is a time and season for it all..
BUT BACK TO MY NON PERFECT CHILDREN..... I have a 2 year old going through some toddler issues - not wanting to go to bed is one of them.. and a 5 year old going through a "No.. I am not going to do what you want me to do" stage.
"Could these darlings misbehave? You better believe it."Last night, husband was out, and these lovely little darlings just would not behave. We have a no smacking policy (which I have only broke a few times in 7 years - hey I'm not that perfect) so physical violence was out...
Why do kids listen to their father more than their mother?.... fathers just evoke children to do what they are meant to.... and when there is no father home, watch out.... so I threatened to call Daddy on the phone.. but they saw through that one... dang it....
I am ashamed to admit that I resorted to Emotional blackmail.. I think I better start saving for my children's Therapy.... These are some of the horrid things that came out of my mouth.. before I threw a blanket, squealed and fell on my bed crying...
"I will put you outside if you don't behave" - They hate that one - cause they don't like the dark
"Go find another family to live with"
I did some fake crying to make them feel bad/think about what they are doing to me..
I started praying (oh please help me Lord make it through this night)
"I have to remove my self from you/ I am leaving" - This is when I went to my room crying which actually got the best/worst response - they started crying and banged on my door to be let in - they thought I had lost it I think
and the worst thing was that I was saying these things inbetween singing "I am a child of God" which I have to sing like 10-20 times to get my 5 year old to sleep... how warped is that??? What messages am I sending...
WELL.... when my husband came home I told him all about and how bad I felt, I am the worst mother in the world.... and he said all the right things =) so I didn't kill him aswell - That I was a good mother, and it will be all right etc.
And today they all woke up cheerful and apparently not remembering the Hell they lived through last night... SO I guess I am forgiven...
As I went to sleep I picked up the book I am reading "A New Earth" By Eckhart Tolle and I just happened to be up to the parenting chapter... I cried.... and to pay for my sins I will share it with you all in the next few posts... so get ready for it people....
3 comments:
Love the "go find another family to live with"!!!! I think it is so fantastic that you are at such a good time in life right now - though these days do come, don't they? My little kids can be imperfect little creeps sometimes, then they fall asleep and look so angelic - I KNOW you are a good mum. Just human. and a blogger so we get to hear about it! yay for us!
I love the "So I didn't kill him as well!" You are so funny and so real. Been there. There is always tomorrow. m
OMG - I am sooo glad that I found your blog!! I love it! I have been in that very place... and I only have 2 kids, but they are 20 months and almost 4yrs. My mom got me a book that I think you might appreciate... "I was a really good mom until I had kids". It's awesome and it totally makes me feel good after the kids finally fall asleep after nights like this one! tees-closet.blogspot.com
Post a Comment