Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Hardest commandment to follow

Ok Ok so it isn't a commandment, more like advice.. but advice that has come from Prophets, Area Authorities, Stake Presidents and Bishops


I love Lucky Holly's blog.. but its private.. so you all will just have to believe me that it is a cute, honest, uplifting,creative little piece of her heart

A few weeks ago she posted this epiphany she had:
Just now I was thinking about my husbands comment yesterday in gospel doctrine class at church. In essence it was that we need to continue to experience the feelings of the holy spirit and not to rely on our experiences of yesterday.

My thoughts merged in to the fact that it is the same with marriage - love and romance also. To continue to let those loving and romantic experiences take place so that our "testimony" of our spouses love can grow and develop further.

Unfortunately I didn't understand before why we were supposed to go on dates etc. I am not anti date by any means however having a small crowd of children can make it difficult even for the most experienced babysitter. Too much hassle? Don't want to put good friends out.

I get it now, why it's important and all that. Can you have a testimony of dating? Of your own husband that is...?

How could one of the most fun commandments (well ok, "advice") be one of the hardest to keep?? That's just CRAAAZZZYYY!! And no this post is no jest at the MR to take me out more.. .. he already does so much for me on a daily basis...I am just musing... you all following??

Love is like a flower, and, like the body, it needs constant feeding. The mortal body would soon be emaciated and die if there were not frequent feedings. The tender flower would wither and die without food and water. And so love, also, cannot be expected to last forever unless it is continually fed with portions of love, the manifestation of esteem and admiration, the expressions of gratitude, and the consideration of unselfishness.” - Spencer W Kimball)

Now why is going on a weekly date such a hard thing? I am very lucky that we have family who do babysit.. quite often.. but to inflict the children upon them every week (and not to mention the drive out there) is just unfair really... so some sort of exchange thing would be required... I have often dreamed of living in the same street or block as another young church family/friends... I could take their kids every second week and they mine.. so atleast we could go out once a month.... because really who can afford a babysitter?? NOT I says this girl...

of course my children are young.. it would be all the much easier if I knew they would bahave, watch a movie, put themselves to bed etc for the babysitter and not require any actual 'work'.... or old enough to stay up and not be cranky if I had to drop them off to someone elses place..

but that's the problem with these things.. by the time you wait for that... well who knows if the MR and I will have anything to talk about by then ;) (side note.. I often think this about physical activity.. while you wait for all your kids to be able to ride bikes, mountain climb, run with you, swim, snorkle.. etc etc.... ohhh whoops that took 10 years and you are no longer in shape!! wah ha haha)

and of course sometimes we may think our relationship is good...good enough to forgoe those dates.... The MR and I have a GREAT relationship, we msn chat each other quite often during the day (*whoops.. glad his boss doesnt read my blog!), for a few years he worked from home, so we saw each other ALOT! We do catch up each day and chat.. We always say I love you and leave each other with a kiss... but a scheduled weekly date.. well that's just in the too hard basket ;)

actually when he was a YSA Bishop we attended about 2 weddings each month. I really enjoyed that. These became our dates, I have never had so many dates apart from those three years :) we had to find babysitters as usually he had some part in a ring ceremony or the like.... we were reminded at every side what young, fresh, love was.. young couples looking forward to eternity with giddy smiles and love in their eyes...

so dear readers.. any ideas...

A quote I found in the ensign
Just as the dating and courting period serves the very real purpose of helping a couple get to know each other, so do special husband and wife dates serve a very real purpose in assuring that we continue to know one another and grow together

Some Link Love from the Ensign

Cold Gravy or Cherry Pie : Keeping Romance Alive

Q and A - Creative ways to keep dating after marriage

How do I love Thee?


Sars life said...

I will have to blog some ideas. I also have trouble finding alone time with my husband. But find the simple things end up holding more meaning.

Anonymous said...

Does a weekly date count if you take the kids?

Weekly dates are important. A Healthy relationship can be measured by the way we make time for each other.


Sarah said...

Yeah, I feel it's too much bother sometimes. Even when people offer to babysit you feel they're doing it out of obligation, not because they really want to. I can't remember the last time we went on a date night.

We used to do a babysit swap with a family who lives down the road from us. they had 2, we had 2. But I resented it because they wanted to go out more than us, and then they stayed out later than us, and then our 2 became three, and theirs stayed 2! So it went by the wayside.

I really believe date nights are important, but the other thing is I normally end up organising it ALL. babysitting included, so it just feels like too much work.

opps, sorry - didn't mean for this to turn into a whinge!!

Cowan Family said...

Dating is so hard!! I feel exactly the same. We are going to the temple tonight for a big family occasion and because all family will be there and my parents are working at the temple that leaves me with no choice but to pay a babysitter $7/hr. 2hours in the temple and then another 1 & a 1/2 having dessert to celebrate grandma's 70th birthday and we've spent almost $50.... The thought makes me sick and I hate having to pay to go to the temple.
We've struggled to go out on dates too and while I think they're very important, there's fun things that we can do for date nights at home. I've done picnics on the lounge room floor and star-gazing in the garden. There's a stage for everything and maybe now is my time to snuggle on the couch with hot milos... the dinners and long walks will have to wait!

The McClellan Clan said...

NICE POST!! I think alot of people forget about it cause we are going about our daily lives and its hard to remember to fit that in. But if you think about it- everytime you go to this and that for the kids your learning about them and paying attention to them. Your focused on them. So if we don't do DATE night with ONLY them. Then how are we ever focused, learning or paying attention to our spouse. Its hard. If I don't plan in the beginning of the week to have a date night. It does not happen. And I hate it. It is a need and if it wasn't the prophet wouldn't emphasize on it. Good luck!!

Delightful Domestic Science said...

Oh Bobbi, what a great post!

Just this week I enlisted the help of a friend from church (mama to 4) to sit our girls this coming friday. We will have to see if it could be a regular thing. Depends on a couple of things -
*how long the girls jump on their beds once it's lights out.
*If Percy settles for her feed with our sitter.
*And if our said sitter accepts flowers, chocolate and never ending gratitude as payment.

x H

PS you make me want to take my blog public :-)

chelle said...

AweSoMe PoST! YES. I am so with you on the importance of dates. We are struggling to do them. But we are trying. m

Zanabelle said...

I always feel guilty when I hear people talk about not being able to find a baby sitter, because we pretty much have one on hand whenever we need it. (We just keep telling ourselves to live it up while we've got it, cos it's not gonna be like this forever!)

But even though we do have a baby sitter, our problem is finding fun things to do. We usually end up either just going out for dinner or seeing a movie.

I was telling Troy the other day that he hasn't planned a date since the very first one he took me on! Why are guys so useless at planning romantic dates? They seem to be capable during the dating period, but as soon as the ring gets on the their finger it all disappears!

Have you taken Andrew and Jeff up on their Christmas present yet??

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