We miss you very much. We miss hearing you come home. The creak of the gate and the front door are the secret clues. The girls almost thought you came back when they hear it.
I think you have been gone more this year than you have in our entire 12 years together. (which is not much, but still) though I secretly think you miss us more than we miss you. We have eachother here to keep us busy (very busy and tired). You are all alone and missed us on your first night and every night (except when you're out on the town eating at fancy restaurants with your brother) . You pretend to be the strong one keeping us all in line, but really you are a big softy under there. (which I've always known and get to see)
You're rarely home anyway but I miss you breezing down the hall, a quick peck and off again. (As happened on sunday. A car dropped him off at the front door, he walked the hall - the length of our house, stopped to kiss me and continue on to the carport to leave in our car for another appointment. In front of my Visiting Teachers! and he didn't come back for 5 hours!)
BUT I have come to realise how important that 3 seconds in the hall, 'smooch and run' is. I can do most things myself. I can look after these kids myself. But you look after me. And boy do I need some looking after. This week makes me reflect on all my friends and family who are single mums, or who have husbands travel extensively for work. It's hard. Thank you for reminding me to be thoughtful of them. Us girls need to band together. Strength in numbers and all that. Because on my own? These kids get away with too much. It's just easier to do it all myself and let them slide. Which is not good. Because if I had to do this permanently (no dying on the plane home ok?) what would they learn? Nothing because I would let them get away with soooo much.
I also miss how you calm my fears. I've had to sleep with the phone next to me and a broom in the room. Don't know how a broom will help me but I figure I could wack or poke someone with it if they tried anything. And sweep up the kids mess in the morning? So watch out bad guys. I'll sweep you up. You'll be done and dusted.
You are very much needed back in bed. These girls are all thinking they get to sleep in here. I myself am enjoying being able to spread out and have the bed all to myself. If you are gone too long they may think its their permanent place. I have had to ban them and there is much crying everynight. Atleast when you are back I can say Sorry but Daddy is back. He needs *all* the room cause he's so
Please return and save me from myself. I have been staying up late doing housework! Now that is unheard of. Maybe it just takes longer to do stuff without you to help, or maybe I'm lonely/scared to go to bed, but whatever it is, that's no excuse to be doing washing/drying/folding/cooking/dishes/mopping till late late at night. Redonkulous.
Can't wait to see you very soon xx
PS. Next time I am coming with you. Got it?