Monday, February 25, 2013

On Staying Home

Last week I had three extra kids in the house. By accident. All on the same day.

 There's the child I babysit twice a week
{Mother is a vet - vets are open till 7pm. After school care is only open till 6pm - see the problem?}

There's the neighbourhood girl who comes to our house every day. She either walks home with one of my kids or expects a lift. Shes here morning and afternoon for hours and her mother has never asked me once if this is ok. She's an only child so I understand she is lonely.

There's the kid I wait with every afternoon. Her brother walks from the local high school to the Prep. It takes him 20 mins. It seems crazy to pay for after school care for 20 mins, so for her immigrant mother who works two jobs I wait with her till brother comes. Except this time brother didn't come.

I don't share these things because I'm angry
{It doesn't bother me to do these things, extra kids sometimes makes my kids better at home}
and I don't share to say I'm awesome
{I have so many failings its ridiculous}

So as I sat there feeling a teeny bit put out thinking GEE these people are lucky they have ME

 a thought hit me so hard

This is a blessing.
This is why you are a stay at home mum.
To provide exactly this for your children.
If you can also provide it for other children it also a blessing.

Sometimes I can't believe I have been a stay at home mum for 12 years!
{bar a short stint at part time work and working in my husbands business while he got another job}

12 years! It doesn't seem that long but when I say 12 years I wonder if I've wasted my life away.
I could have multiple extra degrees by now, a strong career, be saving peoples lives.
I worry that I actually prefer being at home, taking the easy way out?!

Each year I seriously feel like I'm getting dumber and dumber and less confident.

{Just ask my husband when I refuse to do calls regarding insurance/electricity/phones etc - I don't do calls. Scares me lol.  When he tells me of work politics I feel sorry for him. I don't do confrontation.
It's going to be a steep learning curve if I ever do get back into the job market - I've gotten so used to being my own boss and a lady of leisure ;) }

But at the same time I'm gaining smarts and confidence in other areas.

I'm a blessed woman. We have everything we need and surplus and I can stay home.

We might be frugal, we might not be rich.

But what riches we have in other ways we can try to share.

These decisions always seem hard. There's never a perfect life.

Stay home 100%, work full time, work part time. Help noone, help everyone.

It's not possible to do.

Each one has positives and negatives. Each one equal losses.

So as I push myself this year to volunteer daily with the hope of employment in future years.

I'll remember it was a blessing.

Staying home was such a blessing.


Anonymous said...

I stayed home for the first 12 years of my daughters life as well... would I do it again. No. My career and pension suffered and frankly I don't see any difference in the way she turned out from the way kids reared in day care turned out. Sorry if this sounds a bit pessimistic but it's how I see it from my current vantage point of retirement. There are advantages in both ways of doing things...I don't see the kids suffering either way.

AnnalisaG said...

Sometimes I feel that way too, like I am getting dumber every day. Your post uplifted me today, though. I am very blessed to be a stay at home mom and I really wouldn't have it any other way. Also, thank you for posting your FHE lessons. They really help me out. This is the first year we have been in any way consistent, and we still struggle week to week. So thank you!!

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