Monday, October 18, 2010


The real red faced make up free me.

Reading comments in blogs is very dangerous. I always love the ones over at cjane . I also enjoy the comments in free range kids . I spend time scrolling through the hundreds of comments.

However sometimes they weigh on me. As the ones at cjane have lately. I've mentally penned many a comment in my head. One night I couldn't sleep thinking about it.

I have found one of the hardest things of being me :  a mormon or member of
The church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints  is:

trying not to judge others
or trying not to come off as judgemental or holier than thou

I like to think i'm a fairly open minded person. I help people of all nations, rich and poor. I'm friendly to the miriade of people from all nations at the girls school. I've let scores of strangers stay in my home. I've helped immigrants, chatted to the homeless who live at the local park, I hope if anyone were to ask anything of me I would be able to give it.

However I think when you live your life to a certain standard  (ie  I don't drink alcohol, smoke, swear, participate in any illegal activities, I believe in marriage between a man and woman, abstain from premarital sex and once married - fiedelity with marriage, give money to charity, keep the sabbath day holy which includes no shopping or extra curricular activities on sundays, dress modestly, serve others, I place an importance on motherhood and raising children and trying to be a good wife.

it can be hard not to think:

 If I  (who is flawed and makes mistakes)  can do it, surely you can to!

This is the crux of the problem when people may feel I or those of my religion take a holier than thou stance. This is one thing I have to deal with in life. Giving love freely without judgement.

Yes I might be able to do the above things described. Others may not.
Others may even purposely choose to not.

And thats ok.

 I won't change my beliefs but hopefully I can change the way others feel about me.

Charity is the pure love of Christ and one of the hardest things to achieve in life I believe.


Just ME said...

It has taken me a long time to realise that we all have different levels of potential, ability, coping, and understanding of the gospel. Hence, some people are able to do things much easily than others. For a while I could not get that. I'd look at others and think, if I can do it, so can you - stop your whinging! And stop making others do more than we are already able to do!

Since realising that it's all about my perspective and being far too quick to judge without "walking in their shoes", I've been more charitable. Pres Monson's talk specifically aimed at women not judging has also given me a kick up the butt! We mustn't apologise for upholding our standards and trying our best, but we must be careful as Pres Uchtdorf told the priesthood, to understand the difference between being proud and prideful.

Great post Bobbie. It's great to think deep and analyse yourself but don't be too hard on yourself :)

Anonymous said...

Oh how comments can touch us deeply. I have had comments cut me pretty deep too. And judging, or not judging, those that are behind the comments is a very tough thing.
I believe different things and choose to follow Christ in a different way but do my best to stay educated and open to everyone's beliefs. It is hard and I do not always succeed.
Thanks for the reminder of how important it is.

Carolyn Adams said...

AMEN sister!!!! I am totally with you on this one! I was just talking to Brian last night about how I need to be less judgemental.

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