Monday, February 7, 2011

A realistic Anniversary

I'll carry you if you carry me. Then we know we'll always be.

I read a statistic in a parenting magazine that said 80% of people don't celebrate their wedding anniversary after the first year.

I was kinda shocked, I mean we always celebrate ours.

But then I thought maybe the responders were meaning the 'type' of celebration. A casual comment  of  "Happy Anniversary" and a kiss might not cut it as 'celebrating' to most people.

Some years, we go all out - weekend away or dinner at 5 star restaurant and other years we sit at home with takeout, go on a walk etc.

Does one celebration represent more than the other?

In our hearts when we don't get a big declaration (read expensive) show of love is it dissapointing?

This year for a variety of reasons we knew it wouldn't be a big declaration day. (we were already meant to have celebrated it staying at a hotel and seeing wicked (which hasn't happened yet 'cause of the flood), we are on a strict budget at the moment trying to get back on track and saving for things important to us, a daughter who is having some emotional upheavals (driving us crazy) who needed some (ALOT) of one on one care, no babysitters, a need to pick up things and organise other daughters baptism for this coming week and the list goes on)

So there were no gifts and no going out.

But what did I get?

As I am normally rising around 4:30 am with my one year old who has finally learnt to sleep through the night but arises VERY EARLY starving raving hungry and must be fed as soon as her eyes open, I was laying on the couch in a coma when The Mr comes out dragging all the pillows and bedding.

I ask:  What are you doing?

Well since its our anniversary I'm coming out to talk and snuggle with you.

Oh how sweet, I think my heart pit pattered.

We then spent nearly the rest of the day apart, or swimming/feeding/covered in our four crazy kids

That night after their bedtime he shares a small block of white chocolate (which he knows I like) and some softdrink with me. And then I realise I did nothing for him. As I do most holidays.

I never know what to buy the man! Guys are impossible to buy for. Esp ones who are computer nerds where anything they might like costs hundreds of dollars. There are only so many socks, ties, cherry ripes one can receive in a lifetime no? What are your suggestions people??

So even though I was sad that  I didn't get to go out, I didn't recieve gifts of jewels or flowers, I didn't get any time out from my parenting duties, that my day was dominated by other important things.

I realised that I've grown up. (or become more of a martyr)

That instead of thinking about ME, perhaps life does get in the way sometimes. Sometimes there are bigger things than me. Sometimes I need to think more about HIM and what can I gift him with. Sometimes we need to think outside the 'money buys love (gifts) box'. Will my life still be fine and happy IF I was to get NOTHING at all?

That sometimes a sleepy eyed person dragging all the bedding out to the lounge is the greatest gift you can ever receive.

Perhaps I've become someone who perhaps doesn't celebrate her wedding anniversary.

But we can celebrate the important things.

And....There's always next year ;)

and Valentines is not to far away ;)

1 comment:

Alisha said...

Yeah, that is how we celebrated last year. At the time I thought I didn't mind, we were taking care of (job and kids) the essential more important things but now I realise that it sucked and I am not going to "skip" it again! I, like you, realised I might have to put some thought into making him a cake, buying flowers for the house, getting a sitter and meeting him at work etc. Skipping is for the birds, I've got 360 other days just for family :) So fingers crossed I do better this year (got till May to sort it out : ) Tough thing for you is that so much is all in Jan and Feb! ; ) xxx Alisha

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