To deny oneself

~A Princess much?~

These thoughts have been whirling around my head for days - and in an effort to write more prose and be like my blogging idols CJane, Nie Nie, Carli, Lucky Holly I am posting it here... humour me and follow along... please?

These thoughts came whilst once again crying myself to sleep ( I PROMISE I DO NOT CRY EVERYNIGHT - It has only been like 3 times since Miss N was born - OH what sleep deprivation will do to you!)It was triggered by my questioning the MR over his desire to take us on a real family vacation (at the most hottest (for camping) and expensive (for hotels) time of the year) ~ And I think I hurt his feelings ~ so I lay awake questioning

WHY DO I LIKE TO GO WITHOUT?

I think I like to make things hard for myself and then I feel better when I get through anyway. I think there is a small thrill involved of making do with minimal resources! I like to think it makes me tougher...more resilient.

***

When it rains alot (or in last weeks case days of dust storms) I question whether or not I should have a clothes dryer.

- now I am sure one little dryer for my use will not harm the environment dangerously so? But I like to think I am saving money and the environment. But is just little old me choosing not to, really gonna help the environment?

I read somewhere that if every person on the planet was to live like the average american (or Australian we will add) then we would need 3 planet earths - in my warped thinking I like to dream that by me forgoeing some pleasures (ie dryer, heater, aircon) I am enabling a person from say Africa, South America or Asia to live a better life. If we think people in third world countries deserve better or as much as we have - then We must go with out a few things so it evens out -as obviously there are not 3 earths available

***

My Sister in law recently went on a girls night away. I have only been trying to plan one of these for about 5 years!! HA! I wanted to do one with my mum and sister and sister in law ages ago, but never happened. Then I thought I would try with a few mums from church.. but my insecurities come up - would anyone want to go away with me, which hotel to choose, where?, cost, guilt in that I dont go away with my husband, so why would I go away with other people - so I need to organise time away with him first, then a girls night :) OH the Irony! The guilt!

***

I was talking at a party to a mum - talking baby/mum stuff. She tells me that she has a nursery set up at her parents house exactly the same as hers at home (so the baby doesn't get confused) and that her parents have the baby on Tuesday and Friday Nights (overnight) so her and her husband can still go out and have time together and a full nights sleep.

WHAT THE??? I have never even made a bottle - scares me actually (that I get it right) so usually can't be away from my kids for the first 14 months - so I have spent 5 years out of 10 with a constant little clingon and that I wouldn't expect my mother to do that (though I must note she is a VERY Good babysitter and has often had my kids overnight, just not as babies) so I had to admit I was slightly jealous...

***

We were talking pedicures and a mum at school was saying how gel nail polish is all the go as it doesn't chip and lasts for months - I was like well I have never had a pedicure or manicure, so I so wouldn't know anything about that - but now I want one!!

***

Had my first haircut in like 2 years a few weeks ago - my sister and I used to cut each others hair and I have even cut my own hair many times -actually the last time I got foils - Years ago my sister actually did it for me using $5 peroxide. We got a fruit and veg plastic bag, put it on my head, poked holes in it and then pulled hair through the holes - when I got compliments about my new hair colour I would laugh and say my sister did it with a plastic fruit bag and a bobby pin!!!

***

Saw photo of me from Miss N's blessing - I looked hideous, I don't own much make up and it is cheap and getting seriously depleted now my older girls play and use it!!- I need someone to show me the good stuff and how to apply it - when did I become a FRUMP?

The list could go on and on.. but I will stop here


So do I secretly enjoy being a martyr? Or am I blessed to be this way - as without being like this The MR and I might not have made it through unemployment, redundancy, running our own business ~ without being in huge debt.


Why do I feel comfortable in denying myself - yet then will occasionally feel jealousy for those who have what I don't - but yet I could have it - If I just went and did it!

At least I can remind the MR he is lucky his wife is so low maintenance!


So am I lazy? Cheap? Martyr? Stupid?


In an attempt to change my ways I am off to get a pedicure - who wants to come with?



I might need a gentle nudge.

"J" Challenge - Unplug Your Kids

This weeks theme at Unplug your Kids is "J"

We thought of Jam, Jelly (Jello), Jesus, Jumping and a few other things that actually began with "G" - gotta love kids and their phonetics...It's interesting how few words begin with J. I was leaning towards something that involved Jelly... but then remembered these juggling balls the kids made at school for Children's Week

Juggling Balls it was then


The smart teacher at school 'prepackaged' rice in snack size ziplock bags. Then, all the children had to do was scrunch up the bag and stretch the balloon over the baggie. We did the same thing, but I also used flour in half of the bags. The balls filled with flour feel better - but will be more mess if they break open. I used around 1/3 to 1/2 cup of rice or flour in each bag.

Our finished Juggling Balls



Now all that is left is to practice our Juggling Skills :)



Next Weeks Theme: Weather

Pink Rag Quilt

When Miss N was a week old I went to a easy quilt class at church. Using flannel squares to make a quilt. I wanted one! Lucky for me I was gifted a few flannel baby blankies. I like to use really big blankies to wrap my babies in, as they wiggle out of those tiny 80cm baby blankets.

So I decided to cut them up and use them for this quilt so I can still keep them - just in another form :)



Cut 25 squares of printed flannel of choice. You also need 25 white squares for the middle and 25 plain squares for the back

Place 3 together with good sides facing out

Sew a X through the middle of the 3 pieces

Keep going until you do all 25 squares

Lay out your 25 squares in desired pattern



Sew 5 squares into rows with seams facing up/outwards

Sew the 5 rows together

Sew around entire quilt

Cut the seams and edges at around 1-2cm intervals all over

Wash and dry several times for raggy look



Thanks to Amanda for her help in cutting the squares and teaching me how to do this quilt - I LOVE IT! It really was easy to sew.

Unplug Your Kids - Feather Challenge

We are pretty unimaginative here - for the feather challenge at Unplug Your Kids we couldn't think past birds

So we made simple birds from air drying clay and stuck in some feathers

I now think we could have made this easier by using playdough - we could have made lots more - and it gets smooshed up again (the less 'creations' lying around the house the better sometimes ;)

And Miss K crafted this bird using a tiny box and alfoil


We have lots of strawberry containers at the moment as they have been cheap. We glued feather on top to make 'special treasure containers' for all our treasures


Next Weeks Challenge : "J"

Sabbath

Adam fell that man might be; and men are that they might have JOY ~ 2 Nephi 2:25

*I finally captured one session of smiles*

Kiwi

I have a glut of Kiwi fruit from our market run. Saw a Kiwi Fruit Microwave Jam recipe from The Klutzy Cook that was just the answer.


750g green kiwifruit, peeled, chopped
1 apple peeled, cored, chopped
1/3 cup lemon juice
1 cup white sugar

Combine kiwifruit, apple and lemon juice in a large, microwave safe bowl or jug. Cover and microwave on HIGH for 3 minutes to warm the fruit.

Remove fruit from microwave and stir through the sugar. Return the mixture to the microwave for 3 minutes, stirring every minute to ensure sugar is completely dissolved. Microwave on HIGH for a further 15 to 18 minutes or until jam reaches setting point.


To sterilize the jars and lids, wash them in hot soapy water then rinse well in hot water and drain. Put the jars into a low oven (100C-120C/210F-250F) for a minimum of 20 minutes. Remove the jars about 10 minutes before use so that they are still warm when bottling the jam.

I am such a geek I actually got a thrill out of the jar sealing! I put the jam upside down (while jar is still warm) and after a while the jar lid had sucked in tight!! My first sterilizing!! YAY

It TASTES so GOOD just dolloped on Yoghurt!

Blogging for Bubbles

Friday afternoon whilst half dressed, in a dishelved state, I hear someone at the door. oh oh.. who could that be?

I open the door to a wonderful woman from church who I haven't seen in about two years (our ward got split and they were put in another stake.)

I am a mess, the house is a mess, laundry is everywhere over my back varandah, I don't think there was a clean room in the house

She bought me dinner and brownies - how thoughtful! She says "I read your blog and I had been meaning to bring you something anyway" and it gave her a reason (ie my rant about how hard it has been)

She also bought a WONDERFUL GIFT for the Older Girls - some thing to help with the "my mother is ignoring me and I have to fend for myself" baby misery they are having to deal with.

It was the biggest bottle of bubbles I have ever seen with cool bubble blowers and some chocolate. It really made a difference. We spent Friday afternoon blowing our stresses away. Bubbles make everyone smile - even tired mums.

The best thing - I didnt even know that she read my blog. So are you a secret lurker? Do you want to come out? Leave me a comment so I know who's out there, I'm too lazy to get a stat counter and stalk you all.

And I will accept all food offerings and gifts :)

I promise not to be too embarrassed - as I kept saying to Rachel over and over - Oh I don't blog sad things for people to feel sorry for me - How embarrassing! It also made me think that in some ways it is nice to know when people are in need - makes it easier to serve them... so anyone out there need anything... cause I owe the universe now.. good karma goes around, so I am off to spread some.

And by the way the last few days have been great - a very good improvement in all areas!

I am off to blow some bubbles

Sound Challenge - Unplug your kids

Our first Unplug Your kids challenge since Miss N was born! Hopefully we will be able to get back to doing these regularly.

This weeks challenge was Sound. I have been wanting to make a Banging Wall forever since seeing the lovely ones by Soulemamma and Chasing Cheerios and Filth Wizardry But have put it off as we live in the inner city with neighbours 1 metre away!! Hopefully we wont bother them too much!!

Collect pots, pans, utensils etc. Cut string and attach to pots (Miss G loved the cutting part)


Our Banging Wall


Also makes a good funny mirror!


Her Older Sisters were impressed when they got home from school!

Photo Re-Enactments

Over the Weekend we got our hammock back out. This morning Miss K was adamently asking me to take a photo of them all. WHY? We need a new Peas in a Pod photo she says.

She remembers this photo from almost 3 years ago..



And Today...


I had remarked a few weeks ago about how much Miss G looks like ME in this photo..



so Today while in the mood.. Miss G posed..



*whoops didnt check which side before I took them! )

Must be on the mind after reading an article in National Geographic about a man whose Job it is to do family photo reenactments of famous people from years ago Drew Gardner.co (click on people , then descendants) He has done Dickens, Wordsworth, Napoleon, Cromwell using their great, great, great grandsons.

Sabbath

For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light ~ Psalms 36:9

RiverFire

Yearly Riverfire tradition - The Last year the F1-11's do their dump and burn.

We made lanterns, had glow sticks and sparklers - the kids loved it

It's Devine..

Caramel Apple Dip
1 Package Cream Cheese
1/2 cup Brown Sugar (more or less according to your taste)

Beat until smooth and glossy. Serve with Apple slices

If you love caramel flavoured things as much as I do you will love this.. TASTES SOOO GOOD WITH APPLES - Thanks to a friend from Canada who bought this along to a Church Activity.. I think I ate 80% of it, so I finally made some for myself.

And then she smiled..

So its been hard. I think I cried myself to sleep on Monday night. Miss N couldn't evade her germy sisters for too long and finally caught a cold. (how anyone could if your sister sucks on your nose and kisses your lips about 1000 times a day!)

She isn't a good feeder at the best of times, add a cold and it is near impossible. This in turn gives me the beginning stages of mastitis constantly and this equals a crying mother.

I think I was also crying in the fact that I thought, if it gets too much harder, I don't want to start not liking Miss N. I was scared - PLEASE LET ME ENJOY HER! I begged!!

Thoughts weigh us down in the dark of night. No sleep, a snuffly baby who can't eat, sore breasts, watching her little body heave with coughs, then squeal in pain, feeling in the dark with no one to talk to - that what is meant to be an enjoyable time just for me and Miss N is anything but 90% of the time. It breaks my heart to see her cry and cough each time I try to feed her.

Then a new day starts and we try again. I love the dawn of light, regenerating me.



And then she smiled



And my fears floated away.



*Note - After seeing the doctors it seems Miss N has Soft Larynx. This means the milk drips down into the larynx and irritates it (made 10 times worse when you add snot into the mix!) So she needs to be held upright after feeds, and I read that sleeping them on their tummy might help too (*gasp - don't tell anyone) She slept fantastic last night after I tried it, so I hope that continues.

They also sound congested all the time, I have had her chest checked twice (once in hospital when she was born after it seemed she stopped breathing) and both times said her chest was clear and very good. Apparently it is the larynx that is making the horrible scarey sounds!

I feel much better and validated now I have a possible cause!

And it actually isnt that bad, if it was just Miss N here, it would be tolerable.. throw in some other kids who are feeling left out because I am always either feeding or holding Miss N is what makes it difficult. I feel for them when they are sad that they are not getting any attention from me.

*And this isnt the photo of her smiling - she has only smiled about 3 times - impossible to photograph at this young age!! But she looked me straight in the eyes and smiled at me right when I needed it :)

The Blessing Day

Miss N was blessed by The MR with help from my Dad and Brother


It was a beautiful blessing, with lots of family and friends and a bit of a pink party thrown in. We Even released a balloon with Fathers Day Wishes on it. A great day.

Fathers Day Questionaire

Seen a few of these around the web. Thought it would be fun to do with the girls last week for Family Home Evening.

What is Dad's full name?

How old is he?

What does he do for a job?
Fixes Computers
Build
Small little work

Your favourite thing to do with Dad?
restle (wrestle)
reslen (wrestling)

How do you Know he loves you?
He cuddles us
Because he tells us and kisses us

Something cool your Dad has taught you?
How to play shrades (charades)
How to wrestle

What is Dad's favourite food?
Chocolate Icecream
Chocolate

(* I dont think it is, but everytime the kids whinge or complain about something The MR's answer to them is always "And I want a big bowl of Chocolate Icecream" )

What makes Dad happy?
Cuddles
Obedient Children (LOL)

When you grow up you want to be like Dad why?
Help fix things because it helps people
It might be fun fixing computers


The Best thing Dad does is?
Fix computers
Wrestle, fix computers

What does Dad NOT like to do?
Yell
Hurt Us

(*Note we have a no smacking/hitting policy in our house, when the kids are particularly annoying, trying, we say "Now we dont want to hurt you, don't push us", etc... obviously it's had an impact...lol)


So I think we need to do more than wrestle in this house, and less fixing of computers ;)

Sabbath

xx Happy Fathers Day xx
..We Love You Forever..

Fish 101

Stare at Fish in wonder


Poke Fish in Eye repeatedly


Cut out eye and hold it
(Miss A was the only willing person to hold it :)

Kiss Fish Head


The MR with his first ever Fish Fillets


Finished Product


we all ate fish except Miss K - Thanks to Fisherman Damien who caught them fresh from a boat this morning, and then taught the MR how to fillet

Hairy

I wonder why the Lovely MR suggested I get a haircut... maybe because this is what he leaves in the morning and comes home to each night??

BEFORE


Don't you just love the look of a mum with a new born baby? Well atleast The MR thought I deserved some pampering... I even got a free eyebrow wax... My first one ever..... OUCH!

So off to the hairdresser...

AFTER


I'm already annoyed at the fringe.. I'll have to buy some super hold hairspray ... but there is just something ewwwww about sitting in front of those hairdresser mirrors, in the smock, no make up, double chin, hair parted in the middle....

after the trim the girl was like, happy? ummm no.. IM HIDEOUS.. could you cut a fringe or thin it out or something...I'll likely regret it, but i cut a fringe, I grow it, I cut it, I grow it, if I don't like it...

Oh well bring on the bobby pins...

But I do like it.... much fresher :)

Spring

And Spring arose on the garden fair,
Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere;
And each flower and herb on Earth's dark breast
rose from the dreams of its wintry rest.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley, "The Sensitive Plant

First Day of Spring Craft - A 10 minute attempt at getting back into the swing of things, turned awry :)



Using these awesome flowers for inspiration we dyed some baby wipes (have plenty of those lying around!)to make some flowers. Go check out her kanzashi flowers.. they are beautiful, but I am not gonna spend my time sewing paper petals together, however beautiful! So instead you can look at our ugly ones!



We got food colouring everywhere, that I made flowers from the newspaper that was meant to be our 'blotter' - I think I liked them better! This is what happens when you don't have a dropper, and let the kids pour the colour on! Even my hands are brightly coloured.




The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month. ~Henry Van Dyke

Thought that quote was appropraite as now spring is here, it is cold, considering we had the hottest winter day in like 60 years 2 weeks ago!